i was lying on my bed, half awake, half asleep. mind somewhere between mahler symphony no. 2 and a girl who changed my life. mahler felt like staring at the most beautiful girl i’ve ever seen. maybe she had hazel eyes. beauty is scattered across the world and we spend our life time collecting it. we’re always in love with it: the girls on the beach, middle aged women laughing at a party, a beautiful lady holding flowers for her husband coming back from war. that last one was a painting i saw in a museum. we walk around the world and collect different kinds of beauty without even knowing it. but if you think this is about beauty, you’re wrong dipshit. i used a whole paragraph just to say i love her. hah. the world already knows it. what am i even afraid of. if you think beauty is rational, it’s not. philosophers tried to wrap it in rationality and then gave up. because sometimes beauty is just i love you stuck in your head on a tuesday morning when you’re not even fully awake yet. fuck im not drunk.